She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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