Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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