I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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