Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
