U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
