i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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