Sry I called you an 8
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
