Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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