If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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