Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize