i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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