I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize