i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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