Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
