While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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