u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
