if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize