Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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