We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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