i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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