Barsexuality is the new black.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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