It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
