hotel room ftw
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
