I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
