so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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