More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Please, let me fuck your mom
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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