I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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