You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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