I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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