i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize