You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
