Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
