My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
