I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
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