Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
