I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
