The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
