I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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