i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
