sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
