am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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