Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
