he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
