I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
