If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize