the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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