Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
