So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize