Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
