my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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