Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
