Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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