if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I understand Curling. That high.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
