I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
