How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
