I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize