Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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