Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
