I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
