you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
