Porn is love you can see.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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