Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize