In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
The uberlube is also flammable
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
COCAINE IS GR8
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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