We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
