you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
