Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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