I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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