ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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