I'll bet she douches with gravy.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
