forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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