I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
