Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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