you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
