i permit you to call me
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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